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 Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss

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PostSubject: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Sun Aug 01, 2010 4:51 pm

The following video illustrates the 5 stages of grief identified by the psychologist Kubler-Ross as experienced by Homer Simpson. Watch the clip then read the following article on grieving for a lost relationahip.

Your task this week has two parts.

1. Identify which stage you feel the author of 'Because I Liked You Better' was experiencing when he wrote the poem. You must support your answer with at least one example of PEE and reasonable analysis. Remember telling me WHAT is wasted energy unless you can illustrate HOW.

2. To what extent can the patterns described by Kubler-Ross be seen in the collection we are studying? Consider 'One Art', 'Because I', 'Praise Song' and at least one unstudied poem in your response. Do these poems support Ms Ross' judgements or do they suggest the opposite- that grief in all its forms is too unpredictable, too individual to categorize?
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francisco.otero



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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Mon Aug 02, 2010 6:13 pm

wohoo, soy el primer response! What a Face

1) A. E. Houseman was clearly passing through the 5th and final stage of the pattern. Acceptance. Throuhout the poem, he is shown to cope very well with the fact that his lover told him to never see him again ("forget me"), for he has come to accept that maybe, this is not meant to be. The poet accepts it and true to his word, never thinks about what could have happened.

2) Because I Liked you Better and One art are both poems that deal with loosing someone, and always, things come in an unpredictable way. The poet could never imagine that his lover would tell him to forget him or in One Art, she could not possibly expect to see her love die.

atte afro
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isabella montero



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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Tue Aug 03, 2010 10:04 pm

1. The poet in Because I Liked You Better is going through the first phase of grief: denial. At the beginning he doesn't want to accept the love he feels, which we can infer from the use of the word "liked" instead of loved in the first stanza. Secondly, in the last stanza, even though he uses the word love, he uses it in a past tense, and as if he were refering to another person, "the lad." Also, he says that he has "kept his word," meaning that he has forgotten his love when the mere fact that he has written this poem indicates otherwise.
Why does he do this? To emphacise the pain of the rejection he feels, which is so great that he needs to deny it to go on.

2. Grief is too personal to be categorized too strictly, but generally it does follow the pattern propsed by Kubler-Ross. In One Art the poet doesn't experience only one stage of death; she starts of with denial but progresses into the third stage (skipping the stage of anger), grief. Because I liked You Better also shows a poet going through denial, but this time the poet gets to a stage of acceptance. In Praise Song For My Mother the poet is suffering grief, but we can see the beginnings of acceptance in the way he says he must move on and "go to your wide futures." So, a definition of loss/death that is the same for everyone is not possible, but in these poems it is definitely possible to see some of these patterns. study


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Paula Macdonald



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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Tue Aug 03, 2010 11:12 pm

1.In "Because I liked you better" the is clearly going through the first stage of grief, denial. First we notice this when he says "liked" instead of "loved" as denying the love he felt for the other man. and in the last stanza he says "The heart no longer stirred," as if he had no more feelings for him, but the reader can notice through out the poem that this isn't true, actually the complete contrary.

2.Both poems deal with loss, but in a different way. They suggest that everybody goes through this stages but it depends on how you learn to overcome it, everyone has its own way to deal with it. For example in "Because I liked you better" this man is clearly going through denial, where as in .....
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Fran Kupfer



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PostSubject: Home Work Week 2 - Francisca Kupfer 2C   Tue Aug 03, 2010 11:30 pm

1. It could be argued that the author of ‘Because I liked you Better’ is on the borderline between denial and acceptance. The whole poem is about how this individual promises the man he desires that he will ignore his feelings for him and ‘throw the thought away’. He agrees to ‘put the world between’ them, as he knows they can’t be together. He is aware that his feelings aren’t acceptable and rejected by society, for he ‘liked’ him better ‘than suits a man to say’.

In the first two stanzas we get a sense of resignation towards his heartbreaking situation, but as we approach the third stanza, it is evident that this man has failed to control his homosexual tendencies and all of his repressed emotions are gradually exposed. He presents a fictional future where he imagines the man he loved visiting his somber, frosty and isolated grave which makes us really doubt if he has in fact ‘kept his word’. Writing a poem about the thoughts he was supposed to forget indicate otherwise.

His sad and wistful tone and him replacing the word ‘liked’ by ‘loved’ are contradictive evidence as it suggests that denying his affection for this man has brought him nothing but suffering leaving him emotionally dead. Therefore, the sense of helplessness at the end may leave us thinking that the author is in fact facing what seems like a phase of denial mixed with intense depression.

2. The authors of ‘Because I liked you better’ and ‘One Art’ share the peculiar tendency of trying to give the illusion of control, as they seek desperately to carry on with their lives pleasantly by trying to convince themselves and the reader, that forgetting and making grief vanish, is something they can control easily. They do this by attempting to minimize the impact of the pain these events have caused in their lives, which they fail to do.

Some aspects of the patterns described by psychologist Kubbler-Ross can be seen in these poems, such as clear manifestations of denial and depression perceptible in the gloomy tone and effective word choice made by the authors. But the lack of resolution we get from both poems makes us believe that maybe neither of them will ever reach the state of acceptance, as they seem to be determined that giving the illusion that they’re resigned and tranquil to the idea of losing the love of their lives is the best way to confront their situations. Therefore, both authors are ‘stuck’ in the phase of denial, and submerged in a deep depression they fail to hide.

Francisca Kupfer Smile
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Dante Pesce



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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Wed Aug 04, 2010 11:36 am

1) In the poem "Because I Liked You Better" we get the feeling that even though the author is trying o convince himself and the reader that he no longer cares about the relationship, but we can still se that he has feelings for him, meaning that he is in the stage of denial, but trying to simulate he has already accepted it. For example in the first stansa when he says he only "liked" him, and that it was only a thought he would throw away we get the feeling that he never really loved him, and that it never got further than an "thought", but in the last stansa he is unable to hide hes feeling any longer and instead of "liked" he says that he "loved" him. Even though he accepts his love he is still trying to hide it since he talks about himself in third person "...the lad that loved you" which shows a sence of removal, making his statment less personal.

2)In both "Because I Liked You Better" and "One Art" the author tries to cover up the fact they are affected by their loss, which shows us that both of them are in the stage of denial, and are unable to move on since they don't wish to accept they have lost something important. Also in both poems the authors are trying to get over their loss, but instead of going through all the stages described by psychologist Kubler-Ross they are trying to pass directly from denial to acceptance, but are unable to do it.


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sebastian migliaro



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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Wed Aug 04, 2010 11:39 am

1- A.E Housman in "Because I liked you better" is clearly passing through the first stage of grief which is denial. We can suggest that by looking at words which expresses the authors denial as "liked" or when he says "to throw the word away", which clearly alludes us that he wants to forget about it and deny that he once loved him. Finally in the poem Housman admits that he once loved him when he says "and say the lad that loved you". This is another stage of grief, acceptance, which is also clearly showed throughout the poem.

2- In both poems "Because I liked you better" and "One Art" the author goes through the same stage of grief, denial. The author tries to resign the love that he/she feels towards the loved one and convince himself that the can carry on his life without any problems whatsoever. In "Because I liked you better" the author is between two stages of grief as explained in part 1, denial and acceptance. In both poems we can clearly suggest that the author tries to accept that they dont care too much about the loss, or in other words pass fro denial to acceptance, but they cant achieve it.


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JT Lafuente



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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Sat Aug 07, 2010 8:52 pm

(Note: I shall call the man that the poet loves his “lover”, even though there was no mutual love between them.)

1) The poet of "Because I Liked You Better" seems to be passing through two different stages of grief, Denial and Acceptance. He first appears to be accepting the failed relationship, when he says that "I promised to throw the thought away". He says that he understands that his lover doesn’t want a relationship, and the reader believes him when he assures his lover that nothing else will happen. However, at the end of the poem, he says that he “loved” him. This is a great contrast to the beginning of the poem, where he claimed to only “like” the other man. This shows that the poet may be, in fact, going through denial, and has actually been keeping feelings for his lover all his life, despite the promise of not doing so.

2) The poems “One Art”, “Because I Liked You Better”, and “Praise Song for My Mother” all seem to show some of Kubler-Ross’s Stages of Grief, and support the idea that sadness can be classified into different levels. In “One Art”, the poet is clearly in denial. Regardless of her attempts to force herself into believing that “the art of losing isn't hard to master”, she still fails to get over her loss. In “Because I Liked You Better”, Housman appears to be between two stages, denial and acceptance, as explained in part 1). Lastly, in “Praise Song for My Mother” it is unclear whether the poet is going through a stage of grief or not. She is evidently sad because of the loss of her mother, but it is questionable if this sadness can be classified into one of Kubler-Ross’s stages. If it was, then it could be either depression or acceptance, since she lists her mother’s qualities and their importance to her. For example, she says that her mother was water to her, something that is essential for living.
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isabella luksic



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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Sun Aug 08, 2010 6:19 pm

1. The poet in Because I... is clearly in denial as can be seen in the way he promises to "throw the thought away", showing his feelings to be unreal and that he thinks he can easily control them and make them go away. However, he then uses the word "loved" to describe his feelings but portrays himself in third person as "the lad", making himself distant and clearly trying to deny his true feelings, emphasising his inability to accept what he felt for his lover.

2. It an be said that the poems support K-B's patterns in grief, but they vary greatly and do not portray all the stages. Both One Art and Because I... deal with denial and the poets inability to come to terms with their loss and control their emotions. Praise Song on the other hand shows the poet to be in a the stage of acceptance as she knows her need for her whom she has lost, comparing them to crucial everyday things. Follower, however, suggests both anger and acceptance as the poet struggles with his fathers reality. Overall, the poems comply with some of K-R's stages in greif, but it is also clear that greif is unpredictable and far too personal to be categorized.
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Cata Martinez



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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Sun Aug 08, 2010 7:35 pm

1.- In A.E. Housman’s 'Because I liked you better', the poet is going through the stage named ‘depression’ which, according to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's model of the five stages of grief, is observed when the subject loses hope and fails to see meaning in everyday life.
The poet has already gone through denial, as he openly acknowledges the situation he’s in. He has accepted that he can’t be together with the one he loves, be it because he (the other man) can’t or doesn’t want to in the first stanza.

The poet is extremely saddened to part, as shown by the line “to put the world between us”, which seems exaggerated for only a break-up, and also by the way he felt “stiff and dry”, like a corpse, when they did. This shows how he’s no longer in the stage of anger or bargaining, either, as the allusion to corpses relate to him being emotionally dead or deprived, when both of the aforementioned stages are related to feelings of resentment and/or hope.
The poet state of mind is borderline suicidal, as he speaks of death and an imagined scenario in which the other man passes his grave. He states that to be the man “that kept his word,” he had to be dead. This is explained by the continuity in the last three stanzas when, after he promises to forget him, he describes his solitary and cold death, reflected by the absence of a “tall flower (...) in the trefoiled grass”. He then continues to say to the other man that he kept his promise, because “the heart no longer stirred,” in both meanings; physically, his heart no longer beat, therefore it no longer felt anything for the other man.

2.- In A.E. Housman’s “Because I liked you better” and Elizabeth Bishop’s “One Art”, the stages of depression and denial, respectively, can be clearly seen. In the latter, she tries to create an illusion of control, and she refuses the idea if loss. The first one, as already explained, deals explicitly with the fatal love the poet feels for a man who rejects him. Both of these poems can clearly exemplify Kübler-Ross’s model of grief, as they focus on only one.
On the other hand, Lord Tennyson’s “Song: Tears, Idle Tears”, refers to the nostalgia and remembrance of past times, and how he deals with things that come and go. This fits into not one, but many categories: it could be depression, acceptance or none of them. It refers to a more general theme of loss. Also outside of these stages is Grace Nichols’ “Praise Song for My Mother”, as she is mostly remembering her mother, either deceased or gone from her life, and it is not clear as to how she feels about that. It could be resentful, as she was so “grained and mantling” but still left, or it could be grieving, using the same criteria.

In conclusion, Kübler-Ross’s criteria can be defining or not, depending on the person this model is applied to, and the generality the poem alludes to.
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Tomás Gothe



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PostSubject: Grief and Loss   Sun Aug 08, 2010 9:33 pm

1. The giref phase shown by A.E Housman in his poem "Because I liked you better" can be categorized as the first one, Denial. We see that the author is denying his love for his friend, for example in the phrase "liked you better than suits a man to say". This love he feels is opressed by society, and even further in those times when the male role was defined as being strong, and nearly unemotional. Furthermore, the author denies his homosexual condition, shown by the fact that he never mentions his loved one was a man and by the use of the word "liked" instead of "loved" in the first stanza.

However, the fifth and last phase of grief, acceptance is also present in the poem, near the end. This is clear as now the speaker admits he loved his friend, but makes it clear that he forgot him and got on with his life, and thus "kept his word".

2. In One Art, the denial phase is extremely evident, as Bishop tells us (while simultaneously trying to convince herself), that losing is not something under our control and should be taken routinely, as an art that can be practiced. She concludes by saying even the death of a loved one is nothing out of the ordinary, thus denying her grief, however she breaks down as seen by the comment "write it!" and shows symptoms of the depression phase. In "Becasue I...", Housman also shows denial of his homosexuality and intense love, as it is not appropiate for a man, though at the end he accepts that he had "loved" his friend.

Unlike the previous poems, "Praise Song" by Grace Nichols is an example of acceptance, as the author remembers the positive things about his mother (that has probably passed away) but without denying or being overly sad about her death. In "Tears, Idle Tears" we hear the author weeping about past times: "days that are no more", which were probably very happy times for him. This, is clearly a stage of saddness, which could be classified as depression, though it is not so strong.

In conclusion, we can see that all poems show some of the states proposed by Kubler-Ross, though not all of them and not in the same order. This is because each grief process is unique for each person and authors prefer to write about one stage in particular, which made the greatest impression on them during their moments of grief.

By Tomás Gothe drunken
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nikola abello



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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Sun Aug 08, 2010 10:45 pm

A)At the end of the poem, A.E.Housman was experiencing acceptance. He was accepting that he really loved another man.
"and say the lad that loved you
was one that kept his word"
The poet, after saying that he would forget his love because of the pressure of the society, finally accepted that he could not forget him because the poet was still in love. Through the poem he also passed the stage of denial where he couldn't accept that the love had ended but he finally agrees that he still feels loe for another man.

B)Both, "one art" and "Because I loved you more" follow to some extend the five stages of grief from Kubler-Ross. In one art, Elizabeth Bishop starts with denial saying that losing isn't hard to master. Then she feels anger as she says she lost her mothers watch comparing it to the love of someone dear. Finally she in a depression and acceptance as she admits that she misses the one she loved.
Just like "one art", "Because I loved you more" follows some of the stages of grief. It starts out with denial, saying that he threw the thought of loving another man away. Afterwards comes a sense of depression is seen as the poet knows that he can't be with the man he loves. But at the end, he accepts that he still is in live with that man.
The poem "I could not stop for death" also contains some of the stages of grief from Kubler-Ross. At the start of the poem, there is a sense of denial were the poet doesn't quite show the he doesn't want to die. This is only shown through what she says. Emily Dickinson describes happy places like a school which enphesizes that she doesn't want to die and that she is not dying yet. But afterwards she accepts that she is dying-
"I first surmised the Horses' Heads
Were toward Eternity"

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teresita eyzaguirre



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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:57 am

1) 1) In the poem "Because I Liked You Better", the author, "A.E Housman" is emphatically placed in the stage one of grief, denial. Although it can be argued that he is going through acceptance as well, it is shown by his revealing of his real feelings that he is actually repressing his emotions when saying he "liked" the person. Besides, the word choice throughout the poem depicts how hard the author is actually trying to forget the person he loves, even though that means lying to himself. For example, ther fact that he "throughs" the "thought away", suggests how violent the action is, in fact, he materializes the " thought", giving the reader a sense of frustration. Furthermore, the phrase " I will, no fear", shows how the author lies to himself, emphasized by "no fear", which is ultimately a tragic irony. So, it can be said that the author is going through the stage of denial since the reader finally discovers that the author has been repressing his emotions, ergo, explicitly lying to himself.

2) The sense of loss and grief is too wide to be strictly categorized, since each individual can react to it in its own personal way, yet, an individuals feeling can follow certain evolution, some sort of pattern. When referring to the poems we are currently reading, there is Loss and Grief in "Because I Liked You Better", where the reader doesn't know until the poem is almost finished that the author was repressing his emotions all throughout the poem, therefore, is going through the stage of denial. Added to this, in the poem "One Art", the author it trying desperately to believe that she is over her sense of loss, shown by the repetition of the phrase " the art of losing isn't hard to master". Furthermore, in the poem " Praise Song For My Mother", it can be argued that the author is actually accepting the death of her mother, since the poem is written in past tense as if the feeling is all ready gone, and, because of the last line " go to your wide future, you said" which shows how she is willing to carry on, as her mother said to her. So, Kubler-Ross statement of the stages of grief can be partially applied in general terms, but it ultimately depends on each individual as to the response to it's own loss. Sleep


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sofi steinsapir



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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Mon Aug 09, 2010 6:31 pm

1. A.E. Housman is visibly going through the stage of denial in his poem “Because I Liked You Better”. He shows throughout the majority of the poem his repressed feelings towards his “lover”, but we don’t know that until we reach the end of the poem, when he fails to control his emotions and make these vanish easily. We affirm he’s in denial as we observe the contrast in word choice at the beginning and end of the poem, he, at first “liked” he’s lover, but then, unable to save his emotions, reveals he truly “loved” the man. We also observe this trend of denial when he affirms he’ll “throw the thought away”, but really, we know he won’t be able to succeed, though throw sounds aggressive and permanent and thought is a word that expresses something not entirely concrete and easy to get rid of, we will still expect Housman will not forget his lover.
2. Because I liked you Better and One Art, both deal with denial, which is one step from those named by Kubler-Ross and the failure from the poets to control their emotions and minimize their grief. Praise Song for My mother, shows Grace Nichols acceptance towards her mothers death, valuing her mother and their relationship, instead of repressing her grief. It can be stated then, that overall the poems show some of the stages named by Kubler-Ross, but generally grief is treated differently in each case, making it seem unpredictable and too individual to categorize.
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alexandra esnouf



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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:23 pm

1. In the poem "Because I Loved you Better" we can actually perceive the five stages of grief determined by Kubler-Ross, but all in different proportions. We first see denial, when he states that he "promised to throw the thought away" because "it irked" his lover. The denial in this is that he is not accepting that his lover didnt love him back, but instead concealing that fact by just saying that since he liked him "better", it was overwhelming and annoyed his lover.

Following, we are presented with a hint of anger, such as "we parted stiff and dry". We can infere that the poet is feeling angry since consequences of it are being proud, and therefore saying goodbye in a cold way as if it didnt affect him.

The bargain stage comes across very discreetly. "If here" demonstrates that the poet still has hope. If has connotations of probability, maybe, chance.

Depression follows up when the poet says his "heart no longer stirred", he expreses that he has been deeply affected by the rejection, so badly that his heart has been damaged permanently, not being able to feel again.

Acceptance however, is seen notoriously along the whole poem. Right at the start, he states that he actually was the one that "liked... better". He follows on to say "I will" forget. Both these demonstrate that even thought it is hard for him he knows he must move on and that he has no other option.
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alexandra esnouf



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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:32 pm

2. The collection of poems we ar studying show different stages in different ways, forms and dimensions since the persons feelings and situations are different. I think that everyone experiences emotions, tragedies, losses and situations in similair ways eventhough it is manifested in diverse manners. However, I think that the way each one of us overcome it is esentially personal and will never be the same.
(Mr Collins I do not have the poems with me and hadnt realized there were two parts. I know this second question is vague, but i promise task three will be good!)
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emily lynch



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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Thu Aug 12, 2010 11:33 pm

1) The poet in the poem "Because I liked you better" goes through both a stage of denial and one of acceptance. At first, he does not accept his real feelings or how deep they are, but says he simple "liked" the other man. However, at the end of the poem, he accepts he was "the only lad that loved you". The word love fully describes the poet's feelings and shows he has accepted them.
2) "One Art", "Praise song for my Mother" and "Because I liked you Better" all treat the theme of loss and hence (apparently) grief. The first and latter can be classified into one of the stages of K-B, or even two. For example, in "One Art", the poet is clearly in a state of denial; she is unable to accept the grief she feels due to the loss of her lover. In "Because I liked you better", the poet is in a stage of acceptance. However, "Praise song for my Mother" cannot be placed clearly in a stage described by K-B since the loss and grief that the poet is feeling is unclear.
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antonia sepulveda



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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Fri Aug 13, 2010 11:21 pm

1. In "Because I liked You Better" we can see that the poet is passing through the majority of the stages of grief, beginning with denial. At the commence of the poem we realize that the author aviods accepting his emotions towards his situations, he evidently denies his feelings shown in the word 'liked' that replaces the word loved. There exists the continuos of the stages as the poem proceeds, finally ending with acceptance in which the author admits that he did have love for whom he writes towards.

2. I believe that the sense of grief and loss is a theme to vast to categorize, given that each individual receives and reacts to it distinctively. Every person has a unique point of view, which has a grand effect on the way they will act in certain situations, some may react well and others terribly; it depends on each person and the situation they are placed in, no one can plan their reactions to situations of loss and grief, we are all hit unexpectedly at some time and most respond as we personally find it necessary.
By using the poems as an example we can evidently see loss and grief in 'Because i Liked You Better' and 'One Art' in a distinctive way; these poems need attention to be truly understood given that they begin with the illusion of perfection and stability and slowly loosen towards the natural idea that not everything is fine and that it is okay for one to feel emotions as harsh as grief. In contrast we can see that in 'Praise Song For my Mother' the author initially accepts the loss of her mother, creating a maturity towards the situation surrounding the idea of understanding.
So as we see in the previous examples, every person has a different view of situations and will accept the situation at their own paces and in their own ways; some may seem similar but the truth is that every individual is in charge of growing towards the idea of acceptance so that they can move on, but this takes time and thought that the person must be able to deliver.
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isidora gutierrez



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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Sun Aug 15, 2010 3:26 pm


1. Identify which stage you feel the author of 'Because I Liked You Better' was experiencing when he wrote the poem. You must support your answer with at least one example of PEE and reasonable analysis. Remember telling me WHAT is wasted energy unless you can illustrate HOW.

2. To what extent can the patterns described by Kubler-Ross be seen in the collection we are studying? Consider 'One Art', 'Because I', 'Praise Song' and at least one unstudied poem in your response. Do these poems support Ms Ross' judgements or do they suggest the opposite- that grief in all its forms is too unpredictable, too individual to categorize?


1. Although it could be said that Housman was dealing with the first stage of denial, it can be argued that he was actually in the fourth stage as we later understand the poem is focused on the authors sadness. Depressing feelings can be sensed throughout the poem as the author writes about the pain he feels from his unreciprocated love. We can see this in the way he describes their goodbye. Even though overwhelming emotions are caracteristical of farewells in this particular case the man protocol represesses them and allows them only to part "stiff, and dry". The lack and choice of words in a way personify his grief, as he is not also unable to express his true feelings because of societyies limitations but furthermore imposed to forget his partner.

2. I dont have my poems with me but ill send it to you later!
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josefina bendersky



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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   Tue Aug 17, 2010 9:00 pm

1. A.E. Houseman is going through the first stage of grief, denial. Besides the fact that he still hasn’t accepted his lover’s death completely, at the beginning of the poem he isn’t accepting completely his feelings of love towards the deceased. This is emphasised by when Houseman says on the first verse that he “liked” him, which shows us that he isn’t accepting his real feelings, since the word that he must have chosen is ‘loved’. Nevertheless, on the last stanza he finally reaches the stage of acceptance, as he says “the lad that loved you”, replacing ‘liked’ for ‘loved’.

2. On the poems mentioned, grief is definitely one of their main themes, but in each one it is treated differently. In my personal opinion, what you feel after someone close to you dies can't be categorized and classified in 5 rigid stages, as each person deals with it differently. Nevertheless, in some cases we can associate and superficially assort them for what and how is said in the poem into K-B's stages.
For example, "One Art" is going through denial as she is trying to convince herself that loss is no disaster. She does this several times throughout the poem using the technique of repetition. This attempt of proving to herself that her loss doesn't affect her fails at the end of the poem.
On "Praise song for my mother" is very difficult to identify the stage she is going through, as she focuses more on the qualities and characteristics that she thought of her mother, other than her own feelings towards her death.
On question 1, we can see that "Because I.." doesn't appear to qualify directly into one of K-B's categories, but we can infer that the author is firstly going through denial, and at the end of the poem it changes slightly into acceptance.
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pascualcme



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Join date : 2010-08-01

PostSubject: Week task three   Sat Aug 28, 2010 1:40 pm

1. A.E. Houseman could have easily be going through either the first stage, denial or the last, acceptance. I believe this because when we are introduced the author says she liked the man other than loved or had feelings for etc.. This can be interpreted in two ways. Firstly that she does not want to say the word love because of the social stigma associated with homosexuality. This would show denial. But on the other hand he is also writing about this, expressing his feelings and actually showing what he feels. This can arguably be one of the most important steps in the acceptance of homosexuality. So from this point of view the author may have been in the stage of acceptance.

2.Throughout Because I liked you better one art are both poems which deal with grief and in some way denial of acceptance. In One art, the author gives herself the illusion of being ok with loss and then realizes that she is not where in Because I liked you better, the author has trouble with accepting he loves another man. I believe the way in which humans react to events such as these are mostly unpredictable. You can infer what they are going to be and what they will experience but certainly the order and the number of stages each individual is going to experience, is something you cannot assure.
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PostSubject: Re: Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss   

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Weekly Task Two: Grief and Loss
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